Intro post from lizcommotion

[untonuggan]

Hello folks! I'll be your poetree  host for the week, and this is my intro/meta post.

In Shakespeare's time, people threw poems into the graves of their friends. It seems like such a lovely custom - to send someone off with such an intimate farewell. When people ask me why I haven't published more of my poems, I often struggle with how to express that many are deeply personal. I write to cope with mental illness, chronic pain, grief. I write to celebrate a wonderful day, my love for my parter, family.

The poems I'm going to share with you this week are probably going to be my own, and they were written during or about times of intense emotion in my life. I haven't shared several of them with many people, because they are near and dear to my heart. However, I want to share them with this community because I feel that others might relate to them also.

(Am I supposed to share one in the meta post? Well, I'll just share a short one.) First up is one that I have posted on my own Dreamwidth journal, but I think it bears sharing. I wrote it as a response to how I felt when people asked me how I was doing at a point when each moment felt like I was being pulled deeper into an abyss. However, people generally don't want that level of detail. They want to hear that you are "fine."

Fine
by untonuggan 

they call these days fine
in England the land of erupting
thrashing rain pours forth
into drizzle
rivulets running down sodden green fields-
the green dazzles emeralds
on fine sun-splashed summer days

I call myself fine
in parties to passersby the polite
thing to do is mask the deluge
threatening to erupt amidst the fog
mist abyss with no landmarks
so easy to lose oneself on the moor-

then at last a mooring, latch onto safety
wait as the howls of lashing lost winds pass
deep breaths soften tear-laced throats
releasing unrestrained voices of a thousand sparrows
chortling chirping welcoming
weary travelers to a fine cup of tea

staring at barometers is pointless
no storm endless
brilliant days cycle into night

Comments

Thoughts

[ysabetwordsmith]

>>In Shakespeare's time, people threw poems into the graves of their friends. It seems like such a lovely custom - to send someone off with such an intimate farewell. <<

I've done that. In fact, one category of poetry that I don't charge for is elegies. I write those at the whim of the Universe, part of my vocation. You can see some of them online:
http://ysabetwordsmith.livejournal.com/tag/moment%20of%20silence

One of the things I remember from The Two Towers was the funerary poetry for Boromir, which is included in the wiki:
http://lotr.wikia.com/wiki/Boromir
I loved the fact that all the heroes were able to compose poetry and songs on the spot, as needed, if they didn't have something already memorized to suit an occasion.

>>When people ask me why I haven't published more of my poems, I often struggle with how to express that many are deeply personal.<<

There can be different reasons for writing, as you've pointed out. It doesn't all have to be for sale or for sharing. Sometimes it's an offering, or a way to keep a memory. Other times it's an emotional garbage can. And that's okay.

>>(Am I supposed to share one in the meta post? Well, I'll just share a short one.) <<

Most of the posts so far have been meta without poetry, or poetry with some commentary on that poem. But that doesn't mean everyone has to take the same approach.

>>However, people generally don't want that level of detail. They want to hear that you are "fine."<<

Too true. People often seem to have a script in mind they want you to follow, and they'll throw a fit if you don't.

Very similar to this is apologies. They'll demand an apology for a decision you stand by and would make the same again. Well, no, I'm not going to do that, I hate lying and resent when people demand it. But I've gotten several rather splendid poems out of such occasions, so that's useful.

I like your use of weather, mercurial thing that it is, to evoke tumultuous emotions.

Re: Thoughts

[untonuggan]

Wow, what an impressive response! I have to agree, I think I am going to start putting poems in graves.

And I do understand about apologies as well. I generally go for, "I'm sorry that you feel upset/hurt/angry" or whatever. That way I'm still maintaining my integrity and acknowledging their feelings at the same time. (Only sometimes people catch on that it's not a full apology, continue to demand one, and then it gets...complicated.)

Re: Thoughts

[ysabetwordsmith]

>>And I do understand about apologies as well. I generally go for, "I'm sorry that you feel upset/hurt/angry" or whatever.<<

Yes, I do that too. Or I'll just say "I apologize," which is a performative verb rather than a statement of emotion.

>>(Only sometimes people catch on that it's not a full apology, continue to demand one, and then it gets...complicated.)<<

Same here. They're just utterly outraged if I stand by a decision that inconveniences them. People are weird.

Another quirk of mine is that I only accept honest apologies. I don't want anyone pressured into saying they're sorry if they aren't. I'd rather know that we're opposed, openly.