I did feel that the last stanza was a bit weaker than the rest (I think it was the mid-line sentence endings). However, I especially love the second stanza and the reference to "her careful syntax"--I suspect this fits the beauty ideal of many of us here! The Anne Hathaway reference also amuses me, given your invocation of Shakespeare in the intro.
All in all, I loved it. I think Sappho would approve as well.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2013-09-20 06:13 am (UTC)I did feel that the last stanza was a bit weaker than the rest (I think it was the mid-line sentence endings). However, I especially love the second stanza and the reference to "her careful syntax"--I suspect this fits the beauty ideal of many of us here! The Anne Hathaway reference also amuses me, given your invocation of Shakespeare in the intro.
All in all, I loved it. I think Sappho would approve as well.