Schrodinger's Heroes: Who Let The Dogs Out?

[primeideal]

No real crossover today, but the line about black dogs being named Sirius is a nod to Harry Potter and Outernet (children's science fiction humor book series). I suspect there may be others.

The black dog is enormous,
And won't leave Alex alone.
It jumps on her, licks her,
Barks at her, almost eats her stuff
Until Bailey gets it under control.
"Easy, boy." He scratches its ears.
"Who are you?"

But it won't communicate.
Oh, they've seen all types,
Won't write it off as non-sentient,
But after peeing on everything,
It certainly seems
As useless as the ducks.

Morgan wants to call it Sirius.
But Ash says that all the big black dogs were called Sirius
And they don't want to be passé.
So they call it Procyon,
But it doesn't answer.

Not until Alex, looking for her cat,
Calls out "Schrodinger!"
And both creatures turn.

That is the last straw.
There are plenty of andervectors, sure;
Plenty of dimensions that don't matter,
But that is just crossing a line.
She barricades herself
In with the machine,
Hardly coming out to eat
Until it stops acting up.

Quinn can't believe it.
"I've heard about cat people versus dog people,
But I didn't think they were serious."

"I believe in equality," says Alex.
"And we find it inappropriate for human strangers
To jump on you and lick you.
I expect the same treatment
From members of all species."

Finally it's done;
Bailey helps a yowling Schrodinger back through,
The Teferact shines and then fades.
The clanking stops, and Alex knows
It'll be a good long while
Until anything slips through.

She can sit down to dinner,
Relax again, as much as she ever does,
And afterwards, Ash says
"Can I hug you?"

"Thanks for asking," says Alex,
"And yes."