Note to self: when I don't recognise the Latin, looking it up is useful!
The ending-point works for me. I did have a bit of trouble following the first stanza on my first set of read-throughs (or at least, it didn't seem to flow together with the rest of the poem quite as well 2-4 did with each other). Taking another look today, though - and having figured out the title ;p - I can see the progression from bass/beat to additional instrumentation to and-meanwhile-dancing, where the music is also dancing. And then the ending addresses music and motion separately but in parallel, and it's lovely. Also all the things in this poem are subjects that speak to me, which does not hurt! (Also, wow, squeeing about how-the-poem-is-built is unusual for me, congrats! I wonder if this is what highschool English was like for some people...)
The first 2 lines of the 3rd stanza have a soundfeel that I pretty much just snuggle into and purr (which is interesting also in that I don't think an entire piece in such regular meter would have the same effect). And I loved the pointing-out at the end that even if we hold completely still we're still moving as part of this intricate... I lack a noun to put here. This everything. That we can't be nothing/nonparticipating/impactless.
in which I flail happily
The ending-point works for me. I did have a bit of trouble following the first stanza on my first set of read-throughs (or at least, it didn't seem to flow together with the rest of the poem quite as well 2-4 did with each other). Taking another look today, though - and having figured out the title ;p - I can see the progression from bass/beat to additional instrumentation to and-meanwhile-dancing, where the music is also dancing. And then the ending addresses music and motion separately but in parallel, and it's lovely. Also all the things in this poem are subjects that speak to me, which does not hurt! (Also, wow, squeeing about how-the-poem-is-built is unusual for me, congrats! I wonder if this is what highschool English was like for some people...)
The first 2 lines of the 3rd stanza have a soundfeel that I pretty much just snuggle into and purr (which is interesting also in that I don't think an entire piece in such regular meter would have the same effect). And I loved the pointing-out at the end that even if we hold completely still we're still moving as part of this intricate... I lack a noun to put here. This everything. That we can't be nothing/nonparticipating/impactless.